A DOZEN THINGS EL PASO, TEXAS DOESN’T HAVE

1. Tornados. If you crave the excitement of seeing that funnel cloud bearing down on your house and then scrambling into the corner of the basement while the sky turns dark at noon, you don’t want to come to El Paso because we don’t have tornados.

2. Hurricanes. If you get a sense of civic pride to see the name of your city scrolling across the CNN screen while Anderson Cooper, wearing a slicker and leaning into 100 mph winds, describes rain falling at the rate of 10 inches in three hours, don’t live in El Paso because that doesn’t happen here.

3. Forest Fires. Once again, El Paso is very unlikely to get any air time on national TV as firefighters struggle to save entire neighborhoods.

4. Earthquakes. Eager to tell your friends back in the Midwest what it is like to see pictures jump off the wall or the ground open up and swallow your neighbor’s cat? Not in El Paso. That’s more of a California thing.

5. High Crime Rate. Despite the real problems that exist across the Rio Grande in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, El Paso has for a decade been one of the five safest cities of over 500,000 (as measured by rates of violent crime) in the United States - - and continues to be in 2009.

6. Expensive Housing. You get a lot of house for your money or you can rent very inexpensively. Check the listings. This is part of an overall low cost of living. If you are looking to cut a deal on a lot of foreclosed properties, El Paso is not for you because the housing market is stable and the rate of foreclosures is below the national average.

7. High Humidity. This is not Houston with humidity near 100%. Yes, it’s hot but the high temperatures are a lot more bearable when the humidity is 15%. Unlike Washington, DC in the summer, you can walk three or four blocks without your clothes being soaked as though you were in a Turkish bath.

8. Traffic Jams. The City is spread out but drive times are usually predictable and of reasonable length. Home to work or to downtown events drive times are usually under 30 minutes. It is very unusual to be in bumper to bumper freeway traffic as in Southern California, New York, Boston or many other heavily populated areas.

9. Huge Snow Drifts. You will never get your photo taken standing next to an eight foot high pile of snow - - under which your car is buried. Try Michigan, Minnesota or Maine for that. We do have four seasons and once or twice a winter we get a light snow. But the weather here rarely if ever changes your life, i.e., keeps you from doing what you intended to do on a given day.

10. Racial Strife. Unfortunately, many U.S. cities are polarized with sections being “off limits” due to danger. There may be poor areas but not dangerous ones. In El Paso our people are open and welcoming to all races and religions.

11. Seasonal Depression. If you want to get depressed because you haven’t seen the sun in days, go to the Northwest or Northeast. The sun shines brightly on well over 300 days each year.

12. Lots of blue haired ladies driving 1996 Buicks. Go to Florida for this. We do, however, have plenty of Golden Corrals and IHOPs.

Lacking all of the above things - - What does El Paso have? A Very High Quality of Life!!